Revan's car stopped in front of the two-story house he used to call home.
The paint was still the same. The jasmine fence was still the same. Only the front porch looked a little messier now, with children's toys scattered around, not yet put away.
Beside him, a woman named Alya held his hand. “Nervous, Mas?”
Revan nodded slowly. “I haven't been home in five years.” A faint smile touched his lips. For some reason, his heartbeat was speeding up now.
Five years since he had chosen to leave. Since he realized that his admiration for Nadia was wrong. Five years since he decided to forget her by looking for another woman, until he met Alya—Revan had indeed made her his replacement.
Hearing the rumble of a car stop in front of the house, a boy of about ten came hurrying over.
“Mom… there's a guest!” the boy called out.
Nadia, who had been playing with her younger child in the living room, came over at once. “Who is it?” Her soft voice carried across the room. “Oh my God. Revan!” Her eyes widened instantly. There was deep longing in them.
“Nadia, how have you been?” Revan greeted her, extending his right hand.
“G—good. Come in.” Nadia shook Revan's hand, then shifted her gaze to the woman beside him. “Who's this?” she asked.
“This is Alya,” Revan introduced her. His voice was hoarse. “My fiancée.”
Nadia's lips suddenly curved into a bitter smile. It was as if a knife had cut straight to her heart. Hearing Revan's words hurt terribly.
The living room was still the same. The family photo on the wall. Only now, a photo of Nadia, her husband, and their two children hung in the center.
“Is Bayu still at work?” Revan asked.
Nadia gave a small nod. “He'll be home soon. It's already getting late.”
“Nadia, could I use the bathroom?” Alya asked warmly.
“Go ahead. It's behind that room over there.” Nadia pointed, her manner equally familiar.
“Thank you,” Alya replied as she walked away.
**** Flashback
Meanwhile, Revan stared at a space separated from the living room by a modern wooden shelving partition.
That wooden table. The chair where Nadia used to sit, staying up late to work on reports. Eleven at night. He was the one who made the tea. Nadia was the one who taught him how to cook instant noodles. ****
“Would you like some tea?” Nadia's voice broke through his reverie.
Revan blinked rapidly. “Yeah, Nadia.”
For a moment, only the two of them were in the living room. Silence. The scent of jasmine from the plants outside drifted in through the window. Just like before.
“You've taken good care of the house,” Revan finally said.
Nadia poured the water. Her hands didn't tremble at all. “Yeah. For the kids.”
“Van.” Nadia turned to him. “You've made peace with it, right?”
The question was soft. But it cut straight to the heart. Revan stared at the floor, unable to look at the beautiful face beside him. “I have to.”
Nadia nodded with a faint smile, then handed him the tea. Their fingers briefly touched. They were both cold. ****
That night, after everyone was asleep, Revan stepped out onto the front porch. Alya was already asleep in the guest room. Through the window, he could see Nadia feeding her youngest child.
Once, he had imagined himself in Nadia's husband's place. Now he had come here only to watch the warmth of Bayu and Nadia's family.
They hadn't had much chance to talk because Nadia had seemed busy taking care of both children since late afternoon. Bayu was the same, having only recently come home from work.
After five years apart, Revan found himself too awkward to start a conversation. He eventually went to his room.
“I thought coming back here wouldn't make me remember everything. I've worked so hard these past five years to forget,” Revan murmured with a disappointed smile.