The First Day That Left Me Confused
That morning, I headed to school like usual. My uniform was neat, my shoes were on, and I'd only had time to run a comb through my hair because I woke up a little late.
My name is Sandra. I'm not popular at school. I don't have many friends either. So far, I've only been close to Rani and a few other kids in class.
I thought that day would be perfectly ordinary.
I was wrong.
The moment I entered the school gate, I immediately felt like something was off. A few kids standing near the cafeteria suddenly stopped talking when I walked by. They looked in my direction, then started whispering to each other.
I glanced behind me.
There was no one there.
"Why are they staring at me?" I muttered.
I tried not to care and kept walking toward class.
A few steps later, I heard someone speaking behind me.
"That's Sandra, right?"
"Yeah."
"The one from yesterday?"
I stopped for a moment.
The one from yesterday?
I turned around right away, but the two kids who had been talking suddenly pretended to be busy looking at their phones.
I furrowed my brow.
"I don't think I've ever had a problem with them."
I finally went into class.
Strangely, the atmosphere inside felt different too. Usually, Rani would already be sitting at her desk, eating bread or telling me about something. That day, she was silent instead.
I walked over to her.
"Ran."
Rani glanced at me.
"Oh, you."
I pulled out a chair.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong."
"Seriously?"
Her answer sounded incredibly short.
I studied her face. Rani looked like she was hiding something.
"Come on, don't lie to me."
Rani sighed.
"San, maybe later."
I grew even more confused.
"Later what?"
Rani didn't answer.
The bell rang before I could ask anything else.
Mr. Arman, our Indonesian language teacher, came in carrying several books. All the students immediately returned to their seats.
The lesson began.
I tried to focus, but I'd felt like someone was watching me the whole time. Every time I looked behind me, a few kids immediately looked away.
Finally, a small piece of paper landed on my desk.
I looked from side to side.
No one admitted to it.
I slowly unfolded the paper.
There was only one sentence written on it.
Don't pretend you don't know.
I fell silent.
What did it mean?
I read the message again. My hands were starting to feel cold.
"What's wrong?" Rani whispered.
I showed her the paper.
Her expression immediately changed.
"Who did you get that from?"
"I don't know. It suddenly showed up on my desk."
Rani took the paper.
She read it for a few seconds, then folded it.
"Just throw it away."
"Why?"
"Just throw it away."
I stared at her in confusion.
"Rani, you know something?"
"No."
"You're lying."
Rani fell silent.
Mr. Arman, who had been explaining the lesson, suddenly turned around.
"Sandra, Rani. Is there something you'd like to discuss?"
"No, sir," we answered almost at the same time.
A few kids snickered.
I turned back toward the board.
But my mind was already restless.
When break time came, I immediately chased after Rani as she left the classroom.
"Ran, wait!"
She stopped near the stairs.
"What?"
"You know why everyone's acting weird around me."
Rani stayed quiet.
"Answer me."
"I can't tell you right now."
"Why?"
"Because I'm scared."
I was shocked.
"Scared of who?"
Rani looked around before answering.
"Sandra, don't ask too many questions yet."
I understood even less.
"The way you're talking is only making me more curious."
Rani bit her lip.
Before she could say anything, someone came up behind us.
Her name was Vina. She was one of the more well-known kids in class. Vina stopped right in front of us.
"Were you two talking about me?"
Rani immediately answered, "No."
Vina looked at me.
"Don't pretend you don't know, okay?"
I was starting to get annoyed.
"Know what?"
Vina let out a small laugh.
"Wow, impressive. You can still pretend to be innocent."
"I really don't know."
Vina stepped a little closer.
"If I were you, I'd stop making waves."
After saying that, she left with her two friends.
I looked at Rani.
"What was that about?"
Rani only shook her head.
"I told you. Don't ask right now."
I eventually went to the cafeteria alone.
I bought some iced tea and bread. As I looked for a place to sit, I saw Dika waving at me.
"Sandra! Over here!"
I hesitated, but eventually sat down beside him.
Dika wasn't a close friend, but he had always been pretty friendly.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"What's wrong with what?"
"You've looked like someone who just lost something this whole time."
I gave him a faint smile.
"I don't know."
Dika opened his food wrapper.
"I heard there's a problem."
I immediately looked at him.
"What problem?"
Dika stopped eating.
"You seriously don't know?"
"If I knew, I wouldn't be asking."
He chuckled.
"Fair point."
I waited.
Dika finally said, "People have been talking about you since yesterday."
"Talking about what?"
"I don't know for sure."
"Then?"
"They say you did something to someone."
I frowned.
"Who?"
Dika shook his head.
"No one wants to say their name."
I was getting annoyed.
"So everyone's talking about me, but no one wants to tell me what the problem is?"
Dika nodded.
"Pretty much."
I stood up.
"I'm going back to class."
"San."
I stopped.
Dika looked at me seriously.
"If anyone bothers you, don't face them alone."
I only nodded.
When I got back to class, it was quieter.
I sat at my desk.
A few minutes later, Rani came in.
She walked straight over to me.
"Sandra."
"What?"
Rani sat down beside me.
"I need to tell you something."
I looked at her.
"Finally."
Rani took a deep breath.
"This problem actually started yesterday."
"I know."
"A photo has been spreading around."
"What photo?"
Rani took out her phone.
"I haven't dared show it to you."
"Why?"
"Because I'm afraid you'll get angry."
I took her phone.
Rani opened a photo.
I immediately fell silent.
The photo showed me.
But I didn't remember ever being photographed in that place.
"When was this taken?"
Rani answered quietly.
"I don't know."
"Who sent it?"
"In the class group chat."
I kept staring at the screen.
There were lots of comments under the photo.
Some people were laughing at me.
Some were accusing me.
Others said I was only pretending to be nice.
My chest felt tight.
"I never did this."
"I know."
"You believe me?"
Rani nodded.
"I believe you."
I looked at the screen one more time.
Then I saw the name of the person who had sent the photo.
A name I had never even suspected.
Vina.
I immediately stood up.
"San, where are you going?"
I didn't answer.
I left the classroom and walked quickly toward the hallway.
From a distance, I saw Vina talking to her two friends.
I walked up to her.
"Vina."
She turned around.
"What?"
"Did you send that photo?"
Vina smiled.
"What photo?"
"Don't pretend."
A few kids began watching us.
Vina crossed her arms.
"If I did, so what?"
I fell silent.
She stepped closer and whispered softly enough for only me to hear.
"If you still want to go to school in peace, stay out of it."
Then she left.
I stood there.
For the first time that day, I truly realized that this wasn't just ordinary gossip.
Someone was deliberately making me the target.
And I still had no idea why.
The thing that scared me most was this:
If the very first day was already like this, I had no idea what would happen tomorrow.