From that day on, Arielle developed a new habit that she wasn't even aware of herself.
Waiting for Cassian.
At first, only for a little while.
In the morning, when Cassian was standing near the dining room door, Arielle would make sure the young man was still there before starting breakfast.
If Cassian left for a moment to speak with one of the guards, Arielle would glance toward the door.
If Cassian moved to the backyard, Arielle would look for his shadow through the window.
Even when playing with her dolls, Arielle would sometimes stop and ask a servant,
"Where's Cassian?"
Then when she was told Cassian was on duty somewhere else, Arielle would immediately say,
"Oh."
After that, she would go back to playing as if she didn't care.
Even though a few minutes later, she would ask again.
"Is Cassian back yet?"
The servants would usually just smile.
"He'll be back soon, Miss."
Arielle would nod.
"It's okay."
But she actually did care.
Very much.
She just didn't understand why yet.
She still thought Cassian was scary.
Cassian was still too tall.
Still too serious.
Still rarely smiled.
And he still had a habit of standing so still that Arielle sometimes forgot he was there.
But now, her fear was different.
Before, Arielle had been afraid Cassian would hurt her.
Now she knew Cassian would never do that.
Cassian might look like a monster.
But that monster had carried her when she hurt her knee.
That monster had gotten her books for her.
That monster had stood in front of her bedroom all night.
And that monster always came whenever Arielle needed help.
So Arielle came to her own conclusion.
Cassian really was scary.
But Cassian wasn't evil.
That morning, Arielle was sitting at the dining table when her dad came in.
She immediately looked behind him.
Cassian wasn't there.
Arielle frowned.
"Dad."
"Yes?"
"Where's Cassian?"
Her dad pulled out a chair.
"He's preparing to carry out a duty."
Arielle stopped stirring her milk.
"Duty?"
"Yes."
"He's leaving?"
"Yes."
"Where?"
"Outside."
Arielle immediately pouted.
"How long?"
Dad looked at his daughter.
"I don't know yet."
Arielle fell silent.
She lowered her head and stared at her glass.
"So Cassian won't be home?"
"For the time being."
"Oh."
Dad picked up the newspaper.
Arielle went back to stirring her milk.
One turn.
Two turns.
Three turns.
The spoon kept moving even though the milk was already mixed.
Dad glanced at her.
"Arielle."
"Hm?"
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Are you planning to stir that until all the milk is gone?"
Arielle looked at her glass.
Only then did she realize she'd been stirring the whole time.
She quickly stopped.
"I just..."
She thought, searching for an excuse.
"...don't like Cassian leaving."
The words came out just like that.
Dad didn't answer right away.
Arielle only then realized what she had just said.
She hurriedly added,
"But it's not because I'm scared!"
Dad held back a smile.
"I didn't say you were scared."
"I'm not sad either."
"I didn't say you were sad, either."
Arielle grew even more annoyed.
"Don't look at me like that, Dad."
"Like what?"
"Like that!"
Dad finally let out a soft laugh.
Arielle puffed out her cheeks.
She picked up a piece of bread and took a huge bite.
But before she finished breakfast, she asked again.
"Dad."
"Yes?"
"Will Cassian come home later?"
"If he finishes his duty."
"What time?"
"I don't know."
Arielle fell silent again.
For the first time, she truly disliked a word.
Duty.
Because duty made Cassian leave.
And Arielle didn't like it.
That afternoon, Cassian really did leave.
Arielle watched him from the second-floor window.
Cassian stood in the yard with several adults.
His clothes were different from usual.
They were still dark and neat, but this time he was wearing a thicker jacket.
He was listening to one of the guards explain something.
Every now and then, Cassian nodded.
Arielle hugged her bunny doll.
She didn't know why she kept standing there.
Cassian then raised his head.
His gaze moved toward the house.
Arielle instinctively hid behind the curtain.
A few seconds later, she peeked out again.
Cassian was still standing there.
Arielle wrinkled her nose.
"He saw me."
She was about to leave.
But then she saw Cassian get into a car.
Arielle moved closer to the window again.
The car slowly left the grounds.
Arielle watched until it disappeared completely from view.
After that, she stood there silently.
It was quiet.
Strange.
The house was still the same.
The guards were still there.
The servants were still working.
Her dad was still in his study.
But something felt different.
Cassian wasn't there.
Arielle didn't like it.
She climbed down from the window and went back to her room.
She tried to play.
She lined up the first doll.
She placed the second doll on a chair.
She sat her bunny doll beside her.
Usually, that game was fun enough.
But not that day.
Arielle finally stood up.
She left her room.
"Is Cassian back yet?"
The servant carrying some clothes turned around.
"Not yet, Miss."
"Oh."
Arielle walked on.
An hour later, she asked again.
"Is Cassian back yet?"
"Not yet."
"Oh."
Evening came.
Still not.
The sun began to set.
Still not.
Arielle sat on the stairs, hugging her knees.
She wasn't really waiting.
At least, that's what she told herself.
She was just sitting there.
It was merely a coincidence that she could see the front door from where she sat.
It was merely a coincidence that her head shot up every time she heard a car.
It was merely a coincidence that whenever she saw a car that didn't belong to Cassian, her face fell again.
When her dad passed by the stairs, he stopped.
"Arielle."
Arielle turned around.
"Why are you sitting here?"
"It's nothing."
"It's already evening."
"I know."
"Why aren't you playing?"
Arielle shrugged.
"I'm tired."
Dad sat down beside her.
"Are you waiting for Cassian?"
Arielle answered immediately,
"No!"
Too quickly.
Dad smiled.
"I didn't say anything."
Arielle lowered her head.
"Dad..."
"Yes?"
"When Cassian leaves..."
She stopped.
Dad waited.
"...he always comes back, right?"
Dad looked at his daughter.
"As long as he can, yes."
Arielle didn't like that answer.
"Why did you say 'as long as he can'?"
"Because every duty comes with risks."
Arielle lifted her face.
"What kind of risks?"
Dad was silent for a moment.
"You're still too young to think about that."
Arielle immediately pouted.
"I'm not little."
Dad almost smiled.
"All right."
"I'm big already."
"Yes."
"So Cassian is definitely coming home."
Dad stroked her hair.
"I hope so."
Arielle didn't answer.
Night began to fall.
Arielle finally ate dinner.
But she didn't say much.
She glanced at the door several times.
Her dad noticed, too.
But he didn't say anything.
After dinner, Arielle went back to her room.
She took a bath.
Put on her pajamas.
Tidied up her dolls.
Lay down.
Tried to sleep.
Failed.
She got up.
Sat down.
Stared at the clock.
It wasn't too late yet.
Cassian wasn't home.
Arielle got out of bed.
She opened her bedroom door.
The hallway was dark.
There was no one around.
She walked until she reached the stairs.
Then she looked down.
Empty.
Arielle sighed.
She went back to her room.
A few minutes later, the sound of a vehicle came from the grounds.
Arielle sprang to her feet.
Her eyes widened.
She ran to the window.
A car had just entered the grounds.
Arielle pressed both hands against the glass.
The car door opened.
Someone got out.
Arielle almost cheered.
"Cassian!"
She ran out of her room.
She hurried down the stairs.
The front door opened.
Several guards greeted the people who had just returned.
Arielle stopped on the last step.
Cassian stood several feet in front of her.
He was home.
Finally.
Arielle almost smiled.
But the smile vanished when Cassian walked closer.
There was something on his face.
Something red.
Arielle blinked.
She went down one more step.
Then another.
Cassian only just noticed her.
"Miss, you're still awake?"
Arielle didn't answer.
Her gaze was fixed on the side of Cassian's face.
There was a wound near his temple.
It wasn't big.
But it was enough to leave dried blood on his skin.
Arielle immediately went pale.
She ran down the stairs.
"Cassian!"
Cassian stopped.
Arielle stood right in front of him.
Her eyes were fixed on the wound.
Blood.
There was blood on Cassian's face.
Arielle slowly raised her small hand.
She wanted to touch it.
But she stopped before her fingers reached it.
"Cassian..."
"Yes, Miss?"
Arielle looked into his eyes.
Then she looked back at the blood on his temple.
Her voice changed.
"Are you hurt?"
Cassian was silent for a moment.
"It's only a minor wound."
"A wound?"
"Yes."
"Does it hurt?"
"Not much."
Arielle shook her head.
"Don't lie."
Cassian was slightly startled.
Arielle almost never spoke to him like that.
"I'm not lying."
"But there's blood."
"It has stopped."
Arielle looked at the dried blood.
Then she looked at Cassian's clothes.
There was a little dust on them.
There was a small scrape on his arm.
Suddenly, the images from that afternoon appeared in her mind.
The car leaving.
Cassian leaving.
Duty.
Risk.
Her dad's words.
As long as he can.
Arielle swallowed.
"Cassian..."
"Yes?"
"How did you get hurt?"
Cassian didn't answer right away.
"It was just a minor accident while I was on duty."
Arielle stared at him.
"What if it had been worse?"
Cassian fell silent.
Arielle began to feel afraid.
"What if you fell?"
"Miss..."
"What if you couldn't come home?"
The entryway suddenly went silent to Arielle.
She could no longer hear the guards.
She couldn't hear the servants' footsteps.
All she could hear was the beating of her own heart.
Fast.
Very fast.
Cassian crouched down in front of her.
"Miss."
Arielle looked at him.
"I'm home."
"But you're hurt."
"This wound isn't serious."
"What if it was serious?"
Cassian fell silent.
Arielle didn't know why that question made her chest feel tight.
She only knew one thing.
Cassian had left earlier.
Now Cassian had come home covered in blood.
And for the first time, Arielle realized that Cassian's duty wasn't just standing behind her all day.
There was something dangerous out there.
Something that could keep Cassian from coming home.
The thought made tears fall from Arielle's eyes.
One drop.
Then another.
Cassian immediately looked confused.
"Miss?"
Arielle hurriedly wiped her cheek.
But the next tear still fell.
"I'm not crying."
Cassian was silent.
Arielle wiped her eyes again.
"I just..."
Her voice trembled.
"...I'm just scared."
Cassian looked at her.
"Scared of what?"
Arielle didn't answer.
She stared at the wound on Cassian's temple.
Then she suddenly hugged him.
Arielle's small body slammed into Cassian's chest.
Cassian froze.
Arielle clutched his black clothes.
Her sobs broke free.
"I thought you weren't coming home."
Cassian remained silent.
Arielle cried even harder.
"Don't go again."
Cassian lowered his head.
His hand slowly rose, hesitated, then stopped in midair.
He didn't know what to do.
He could face danger.
He could face people who threatened him.
He could face pain.
But facing a little girl crying because she was afraid he wouldn't come home was something entirely different.
Finally, Cassian lowered his hand and touched Arielle's head very carefully.
"I'm home, Miss."
Arielle was still crying.
"Are you leaving again tomorrow?"
Cassian didn't answer right away.
Arielle clutched his shirt even tighter.
"Don't go, Cassian."
Cassian looked at Arielle's hair, mussed from crying.
"I have to carry out my duty."
Arielle shook her head.
"I don't want you to."
"I will come back."
"Promise?"
Cassian fell silent.
Then he said softly,
"I'll try."
That answer should have been reassuring.
But to seven-year-old Arielle, those words only felt frightening.
Because for the first time, she understood something she had never thought about before.
Cassian could leave.
Cassian could get hurt.
And maybe someday...
Cassian might not come home.
Arielle lifted her face.
Tears still filled both her eyes.
She looked at the wound on Cassian's temple with a fear she had never felt before.
And for the first time in her life, Arielle cried not because her knee was hurt, not because she had been scolded, and not because her toy was broken.
She cried because she was afraid of losing someone.
Someone she had still been calling a monster just days ago.
Someone whose return she had quietly begun waiting for.
Someone she hadn't even realized had become part of the small sense of safety she didn't want to lose.
Arielle hid her face against Cassian's chest again.
Her hands refused to let go of his black clothes.
And that night, for the first time, the monster she had always wanted to avoid became the person she most wanted to make sure stayed by her side.