One of Yoonho’s eyebrows rose. He felt as if a small hammer had struck somewhere in his heart. The two of them fell silent again. The man’s soda was already half gone.
“Are you two having problems in bed?”
Myungtae’s eyes widened. He furrowed his brow. Then a few memories came groping through his mind. He grimaced and clutched his head.
“What kind of question is that, Boss?”
“Even if it’s only twenty-five percent, it’s a crucial part. Imagine if that twenty-five percent disappeared. We can’t keep a marriage together just because we have children. You only have one kid.”
The man, seven years younger than Yoonho, narrowed his eyes. Then he burst out laughing. His companion simply watched him in silence.
“That’s why you have three kids, Boss.”
“We’d have even more if we didn’t count Jihye’s fertile days.”
Myungtae’s smile folded in on itself.
Only then did Yoonho chuckle at the expression on his former subordinate’s face. His eyes returned to his friend.
He didn’t mean to say that marriage was only about sex. There were still seventy-five percent of other things that needed to be fulfilled. Physical and emotional needs beyond that were just as important.
“Still, you two got married before I did. If it isn’t your emotional needs, then what’s the problem?”
Myungtae fidgeted with the small glass that was still half full. His gaze blurred along with his thoughts. But everything was just a mess.
“I’ve been on a lot of business trips this past year.” Yoonho glanced at him and began shifting his chair.
“I complained that I was tired. Then I left. She kept sending me messages. She was always reminding me to eat and take my supplements.”
“But I got a report from my assistant that she seemed even more distracted. While eating, while spending time with my son. She just waited beside her phone.”
Myungtae let out a long sigh. At last, he told her he was fine. Whenever he came home, he embraced his wife with a body that could barely stay upright.
“I rambled. I don’t remember some of it. But I wanted to show her that I was okay. I only wanted her to worry about me a little. Sometimes, when we woke up, we were already under the covers with our clothes scattered everywhere.”
Yoonho propped his head up with one hand. Somehow, Jihye’s face had ended up filling his thoughts. He shook his head and closed his eyes, sharpening his hearing again.
Meanwhile, Myungtae’s eyes were still gazing into the distance. “I asked how she was feeling then. She just smiled and gave me a vague answer. Things became awkward, as if we hadn’t done anything at all, until I left on another business trip. And we always had sex when I was drunk. That was the only time I felt like there was no wall between us.”
The man’s breathing grew heavier. No matter how many times he’d done it, he was only now realizing that he hadn’t broken through a single wall. In fact, the wall had grown thicker until it finally exploded. The boundaries between him and his wife were a complete mess.
“You were avoiding her. That’s the point.” Yoonho’s voice was slightly hoarse from keeping his mouth shut for so long.
“But I did it because I didn’t want her to keep worrying about me.”
“Women prefer it when their partners are honest. Whether things are difficult or happy, honesty makes them feel trusted.”
The man lowered his head. No, it wasn’t just because Yoonho’s words had struck him in the chest. The guilt had been hanging over his head from the beginning. Still, he wasn’t sure whether that was really all there was to it.
He admitted that the two of them had been awkward with each other several times. It only got worse whenever his division’s workload skyrocketed.
“She kept forgiving me. Why didn’t she tell me the truth back then?”
Yoonho sighed. “I think it was a mirror. She was probably afraid of burdening you while you were still caught up in your work.”
Myungtae fell silent and lowered his head.
“Go home tonight. Don’t say anything. Just apologize and hug her. Then talk calmly tomorrow. Your minds are probably still a mess. And one more thing—don’t argue in front of the kids.”
Myungtae took a deep breath. His chest loosened a little. Even so, his wife’s words and tears were haunting his thoughts again. He felt like he wanted to apologize right away.
“And another thing,” Yoonho said, coughing.
“I suggest you stop having sex under the influence of alcohol. My wife told me she didn’t feel comfortable. In the end, I stopped getting drunk so often. Too much alcohol isn’t good for you, either.”
His friend jerked in surprise, his eyes widening. It was as if Yoonho’s words had hit the bull’s-eye.
“My wife… my wife said that too. She said her whole body hurt. But she couldn’t say anything because she was waiting for me to hug her.”
Yoonho narrowed his eyes. “You really screwed up, Tae.”
Myungtae gave a strained chuckle, realizing how foolish he’d been all this time.
“You can’t use alcohol as a hiding place. It’s nothing but false desire.”
Yoonho adjusted his sleeve and patted Myungtae on the shoulder. “You can’t let her go. We’re not young anymore. Only a handful of people can truly accept us sincerely.”
At last, they left the bar. Sure enough, Myungtae could only hold on to Yoonho’s arm. Luckily, Yoonho had only been drinking soda. He drove in the same direction. In truth, though, Jihye’s husband couldn’t take the alternate route. He had to go a little farther.
Along the empty roads, Yoonho stared at his reflection in the car mirror. Myungtae’s words had entered his mind and occupied every corner. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up slightly.
It was as if all of it had carried him back to the days when he was still devoted to his work. Back when he believed women weren’t part of his plans. Back when he thought his principles mattered more than anyone else’s feelings.
He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Forgive me. This time, I’ll try not to disappoint anyone.” His whisper drifted away on the night wind.