Chapter 2 — A Seat Away
The next morning, Ayu woke up with what she thought was a perfectly reasonable conclusion. She wasn't going to think about Raka anymore. Not because she had any particular reason to stop thinking about him. But because she had no reason at all to start thinking about him in the first place.
The night before, right before bed, Ayu had even felt a little foolish for letting one small habit of a coworker take up so much space in her head. Raka lowered his head when they passed each other. So what? Maybe that was just how he was. Maybe Ayu had happened to be in his line of sight at the wrong moment. Maybe the man was simply tired and didn't want to greet anyone.
There were thousands of explanations that made more sense than anything Ayu had started imagining. So that morning, she got up, went through her routine, and decided not to look for answers.
That decision lasted until about nine-oh-seven.
“Ayu.” Ayu lifted her face from her laptop screen. Rahma stood beside her desk holding two plastic cups of coffee.
“One's for you.” Ayu accepted the cup without thinking much about it. “Look at you, being nice for once,” Ayu replied, pulling up one corner of her mouth.
“I'm always nice,” Rahma said, putting on an innocent expression and flashing her sweetest smile.
“Liar,” Ayu answered shortly. Rahma laughed, then pulled the empty chair in front of Ayu's desk toward her. “You look sleepy.”
“I am.” Ayu didn't take her eyes off her laptop screen. “What time did you go to bed?” Rahma asked, curious. Ayu opened the lid of her coffee. “I don't remember.”
Rahma stared at her for a few seconds, then narrowed her eyes. “Why?” Ayu turned to her. “Why what?”
“You.” Ayu stopped stirring her coffee.
“What about me?”
“You look like someone who's been thinking about something.”
Ayu gave a small laugh. “Recruiters are human too, Rah.”
“That's not what I mean,” Rahma said with a huff, still wearing that curious expression.
Ayu raised an eyebrow. Rahma finally gave up. “Whatever. I'm just saying.”
Ayu turned her attention back to her laptop. There was no way she could say that the night before, she'd been thinking about a developer she'd never even really spoken to. Especially not about his strange habit of lowering his head. It sounded even more ridiculous when said out loud.
The morning went on as usual after that. There were two candidates to follow up with, an interview schedule that suddenly changed, and a message from the hiring manager asking for three additional candidates for a position he'd just opened.
By lunchtime, Ayu had already forgotten about Raka. Or at least, she thought she had. Until she headed toward the pantry and saw someone coming from the opposite direction.
Raka.
Ayu slowed her pace without meaning to. Raka seemed to notice her too. Just for a moment. Their eyes met.
Then—
Raka lowered his head.
Ayu almost laughed.
Seriously?
She kept walking without saying a word. But this time, something was different. After they passed each other, Ayu thought she heard Raka's footsteps slow behind her.
Only for a moment. Then they started moving away again. Ayu didn't turn around. She really didn't turn around. But one corner of her mouth lifted slightly.
“What is wrong with me?” she murmured. No one answered. And maybe that was for the best.
Over the next few days, the habit continued. Not every time. But often enough for Ayu to start noticing it.
In the office hallway. Near the elevator. In the pantry. Sometimes in the middle of a crowd coming out of a meeting room.
Raka always did the same thing. The moment their eyes met, the man would look away.
Sometimes he'd lower his head. Sometimes he'd look at his phone. Sometimes he'd pretend to be paying attention to something on the other side.
The longer it went on, the more convinced Ayu became that it wasn't a coincidence. What she didn't understand was why. And the less she understood, the more she wanted to find out. Not because she was interested. At least, that wasn't what she wanted to admit.
It was more like curiosity about a small, unfinished puzzle. And Ayu had never liked leaving things unfinished. Maybe that was one reason she'd lasted so long as a recruiter.
A candidate who hadn't replied to a message. A position that hadn't been filled. An interview that still hadn't reached a decision. All of it made her uncomfortable.
Somehow, Raka had started to fall into the same category. A small thing she hadn't figured out yet.
By Friday afternoon, Ayu finished work a little earlier than usual. She shut down her laptop, put the charger in her bag, then stood and stretched her stiff shoulders.
There were several unanswered messages on her phone screen. Ayu skimmed them, then locked the screen. There was still time tomorrow. She didn't want to drag work too far into the weekend.
After saying goodbye to a few coworkers, Ayu went down to the lobby. The bus stop was already fairly crowded when she arrived. As usual, she stood a little away from the crowd.
While she waited, Ayu pulled out her phone and read the news without really paying attention to what it said.
Five minutes. Ten minutes. The bus still hadn't come.
Someone stood to her left. Ayu didn't turn right away. There was something about the way that person stood that she'd already begun to recognize.
Tall. Slim. Quiet.
Ayu let out a small sigh. Oh, God. Raka.
This time, they didn't pass each other. They stood in the same place, waiting for different buses.
Ayu tried not to think too much about the fact that there was only about one empty seat between them. She looked back at her phone screen. Several minutes passed.
“Your bus hasn't come yet?”
Ayu froze. The voice came from beside her. Raka. She turned to him. For the first time, the man was speaking to her without a work-related reason.
“Not yet,” Ayu replied.
Raka gave a small nod.
“What about yours?” Ayu asked casually.
“Not yet either.”
Ayu almost smiled. Of course not. They fell silent again.
The conversation had probably lasted less than ten seconds. But somehow, afterward, the atmosphere felt different. Ayu slipped her phone into her bag.
“Do you usually head home around this time now?” The question came out before Ayu had time to think about it.
Raka turned to her. “Now?” “Yeah.” Ayu looked at him.
Raka thought for a moment. “I guess.”
“You used to leave early pretty often,” Ayu said spontaneously.
Raka smiled faintly.
“I didn't have this much work back then.”
Ayu smiled too.
“Promotions are a pain, huh?”
Raka gave a small laugh. “Kind of.”
It was the first time Ayu had heard him laugh from that close.
It wasn't loud. It wasn't forced. Just a brief laugh that sounded a little warmer than his usual expression.
Ayu suddenly felt as though she'd just discovered something she hadn't known was there. Raka when he laughed was different from Raka when he was always lowering his head.
Lighter. Younger. Easier to approach. Ayu hurriedly looked away.
“Looks like your bus is here,” Raka said, looking toward the road.
A bus began to approach.
“Oh, yeah.” Ayu looked toward the road too.
They both moved forward a few steps. When the bus stopped, people began to move. Ayu let a few people board first. Raka stood not far from her.
Before she boarded, Ayu heard his voice again. “Take care.”
Ayu turned around. Raka was already looking away. This time, he didn't lower his head.
Ayu got on the bus with a strange feeling she couldn't explain. She found a seat by the window. Once the bus started moving, Ayu watched the bus stop slowly disappear from view.
Raka was still standing there. Alone.
Ayu didn't know why she kept looking. Not until the bus turned and his figure finally disappeared. She leaned back in her seat. Then she took out her phone.
There was one new message. Ayu skimmed it. Her expression changed slightly. She typed a brief reply before putting her phone away again.
Outside the window, the city lights began to turn on one by one. Ayu stared at her own reflection in the glass. Then, for no clear reason, she remembered the sound of Raka's laughter.
She closed her eyes for a moment. It was just a conversation. That's all.
Nothing happened. There was nothing to think about. And maybe that really was true.
But that night, for the first time, Ayu stopped wondering why Raka always lowered his head whenever he saw her.
She started wondering about something else.
If he didn't actually want to avoid her, then why did he always look like he was trying to?