Compared with the first time she had stepped inside, she was a little less hesitant, but the exhaustion she could not hide was still there.
Yinghua Xu returned to the clinic.
Compared with the previous few visits, her expression was still tired, but she was not as tense as she had been the first time.
She held a painting carefully wrapped in kraft paper against her chest.
After entering the therapy room, she did not sit down right away. Instead, she gently placed the painting on the table.
Tingmian Shen noticed and raised the corners of her lips in a faint smile.
“Finished?”
Yinghua Xu nodded.
“...You said.”
“That I should paint who I am now.”
Tingmian Shen did not hurry to open it. Instead, she asked first,
“May I see it?”
“Yes.”
Only after receiving her permission did Tingmian Shen carefully unwrap it.
The paper slowly unfolded.
There was no rainstorm in the painting.
No car accident.
And no little girl standing in the rain.
There was only a quiet therapy room.
A cup of warm water still steaming sat on the table.
A lush green monstera stood beside the window.
Sunlight streamed through the window, casting a soft glow across the wooden floor.
There were no people anywhere in the painting.
And yet it gave the impression that someone had once sat here, quietly keeping another person company.
Tingmian Shen looked at the painting in silence.
Only after quite some time did she speak softly.
“You didn’t paint any people.”
Yinghua Xu froze for a moment.
She lowered her head and looked at her painting.
“...No.”
“Why not?”
Yinghua Xu was silent for a long time.
So long that the only sound left in the therapy room was the clock’s steady tick-tock.
“Because...”
She gently pressed her lips together.
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t know where I’m supposed to stand.”
Tingmian Shen said nothing.
She simply waited quietly.
Yinghua Xu looked at the painting, then slowly spoke again.
“I originally wanted to paint myself.”
“But halfway through, I erased the person.”
“Later, I thought about painting you, too.”
She paused.
“But then it felt... like I shouldn’t.”
“I didn’t know where to put you in the painting.”
“So in the end... no one was left.”
Tingmian Shen did not press her for more.
She simply placed the painting gently back on the table.
“When you were painting this therapy room, what were you thinking about?”
Yinghua Xu gazed toward the window.
Only after a long while did she answer softly.
“It’s very quiet.”
“It’s quiet every time I come here.”
“No one forces me to hurry up and forget what happened before.”
“And no one keeps telling me that I have to be strong.”
She lowered her head.
Her voice grew softer and softer.
“There’s... no rain here.”
Tingmian Shen nodded.
“Do you know?”
“What you painted isn’t a therapy room.”
Yinghua Xu raised her head, looking confused.
“It isn’t a therapy room.”
“It’s a shelter you found for yourself.”
Those words left Yinghua Xu stunned.
She had never thought of it that way.
What she had painted was not just a room.
It was a feeling.
Tingmian Shen did not continue analyzing the painting.
She only asked softly,
“Yinghua Xu.”
“How have you been sleeping lately?”
Yinghua Xu thought for a moment.
“I still dream.”
“I still wake up in the middle of the night.”
“But...”
She paused.
“I’m not as afraid as I used to be.”
A very faint smile appeared on Tingmian Shen’s face.
“Treatment doesn’t have one right answer.”
“You don’t have to rush to reach the end.”
“If you can take one more step today than you did yesterday, that’s already good.”
The therapy room fell quiet again.
Only this time, the silence no longer felt oppressive.
Instead, it was like afternoon sunlight, falling quietly between them.
Before the treatment session ended,
Tingmian Shen opened a drawer and took out a small notebook in pure white.
She placed it in front of Yinghua Xu.
“For this week, don’t draw.”
Yinghua Xu looked surprised.
“I don’t have to?”
Tingmian Shen nodded.
“Sometimes, drawing is easier than talking.”
“But one day, you may realize that there are feelings even drawing cannot express.”
“When that happens, write them down.”
“One sentence is enough.”
“Even one word is fine.”
“You don’t have to show it to me.”
“This is only a conversation between you and yourself.”
Yinghua Xu gently accepted the notebook.
“...Okay,” she said quietly.
That night,
after returning home,
Yinghua Xu sat at her desk.
She opened the brand-new notebook.
The first page was perfectly blank.
She held her pen, but for a long time, she did not put it to the page.
Outside the window, it began to rain again.
She lifted her head and listened quietly to the rain.
After a long while,
she slowly wrote her first sentence.
It rained today.
She stared at the line.
After thinking for a moment, she added another sentence beneath it.
But I wasn’t as afraid.
She looked at the two sentences and remained silent for a long time.
After a while,
she wrote a name beneath them.
Tingmian Shen.
She did not continue writing.
She simply gazed quietly at those three words.
After a long time,
she gently closed the notebook.
Those words still faintly lingered on the page.
Yinghua Xu closed the notebook and softly let out a breath.
It was still raining outside.
She did not close the window, nor did she move away from the sound of the rain.
She simply sat quietly beside the window.
The rain was still falling.
But for the first time, she felt
that she did not have to hurry to escape.